Returning

Have you ever noticed it?

I've been impressed by patterns in nature, and in the lives of animals and people "returning" to places they once knew, either personally or collectively. How does "returning" show up for you?

‘Returning” is a pattern that we see in nature. The Farallon Island experience is a good example. A recent article in our local newspaper speaks of opening up the Farallon Islands to tourism. 

The Farallons are a small group of six islands 28 miles off the San Francisco coast. On a clear sunny day, you can see their jagged peaks on the horizon. The Farallons are a natural wildlife refuge, and home mostly to seals, sea lions and birds. The waters around the Farallon Islands are also a playground for humpback whales and other sea life. With the exception of a small shack and a handful of researchers, these islands are free of human contact.

As with any good thing, however, there is talk of opening the islands up to the public. But, there is fear of what tourism, even if limited and controlled, would do to the islands' fragile wildlife.

Well, I have a bitter-sweet clue as to what might happen...

In San Francisco's early history and growing populations, people would steam out to the Farallons to visit, and to pilfer exotic bird eggs for special dish restaurants. This decimated the habitat and the wildlife.

But when legislation finally set the Farallon's apart as a wildlife sanctuary, the birds and sea lions “returned”. Again the Farallons flourish!

The urge to "return" shows up in many ways in people.

For example, my family and I are immigrants to the US.  I was just a young kid when we came here, with vague memories, but my cousins and I talk of returning to the "old country" to visit, to reconnect with it for some reason. “Returning” also shows up in my interest in family genealogy.

Or how many people have done Facebook or Google searches of friends and acquaintances from the past? Perhaps you wanted to reconnect with them or with a particular period of time, or you were just curious how their lives turned out or how they look today. This is a kind of "returning".

The pattern of “returning” is, I think, a way of completing a "gestalt" in nature, whether animal or human nature.

"Returning" is what alumni clubs are all about. After graduating from college years ago, I recently joined my university’s alumni organization. I always look forward to getting back on campus whenever I'm in the area. The place has changed and not changed, and so have the students, but I'm still drawn to return. Universities recognize the "returning" urge in their alumni and create good will and opportunities for us to do just that - and of course to get our donations!

And maybe "returning" is what so-called "comfort" foods are all about...

Communities also “return”...

In Russia, people are returning to Chernobyl, to settle. Chernobyl is the site of a dangerous nuclear reactor leak that occurred some years ago. I don't recall the half life of radioactive material, but I know the risks of "returning" to radioactive Chernobyl is high, but I guess the need to "return" is compelling!

Not only that, now as well as shortly after the Chernobyl accident, the marriage rate in Chernobyl sky rocketed! This gives new meaning to the term "glowing bride"!

I don't know what the source of this "returning" is, whether genetic, based on individual memory or a collective unconscious, or just convenience as may be the case of the Farallon Islands, but I know that "returning" seems to be a compelling phenomenon.

If you think about it, how many times have you "returned" to people and places with which you or your family were associated? More specifically, to whom and to where do you return?

Joe

Isolated places

On a recent NPR radio program, I heard a commentator describe his special interest in America's early history. He was especially fascinated with the idea that there were vast wildernesses in this country that were completely devoid of human presence, and where one would feel completely lost and isolated.

And he wondered if places of such isolation still existed in the US. So, he made it his project to search our country for such locations.

In one location, I think in Wyoming, he hiked a great distance over sharp lava beds outside of a wilderness national park. He was ecstatic to find what he thought was a truly isolated place--until he found machine gun shells in the area. Evidence of prior military training exercises.

On another occasion, while in a deep mountain valley in the wilderness of Utah, he began to feel that he had found a truly isolated place--until an airplane droned overhead. More evidence of human presence.

After visiting many other locations, he lamented that no truly isolated places still exist in the US. Such places are now just part of America's myth.

But he went further. He said that even if such places seem to exist, they would not be "truly" isolated, because Global Positioning Satellites (GPS) are capable of, and often do, scan tremendous percent of the earth's surface.

I don't necessarily agree with his conclusion that no place of true isolation exist.

My thought is that true isolation nowadays is of a different character. It’s not necessarily found by hiking in distant places or via Global Positioning Satellites. It can be found in the streets of our cities and in the human heart.

Joe

Philosophers stoned

I go through "intellectual" phases of falling in and out of interest in studying philosophy. Philosophy seems fascinating, but when you do it, it's tough.

I've had a couple opportunities to do so in my life, but with varying success.

My first time was in college. I recall sitting on the stairs of an overly-crowded, standing-room only lecture hall, while the professor lectured on the philosopher, Popper. He was animated and obviously loved his subject. In each and every class, I tracked and understood everything our professor said up to and including, "Good morning", but then everything became a blur.

I had a bit more success in the seminary, when I was considering becoming a Catholic priest. I had to study classical philosophy as a prelude to Theology. I was fascinated to learn that the thought categories of Greek philosophy form the basis of Western thought and culture. It also gives us the language used in Theology. I got more out of this class because we got the philosophers predigested with the chance to read snippets from the direct sources.

But still, the study of philosophy called for a mental openness, intellectual flexibility, and rigor that was tough for me at that time.

Philsophers discuss ideas and abstractions. They create new concepts and make new thought connections. They coin new words and use old words with new definitions. You also need to understand their historical and cultural backgrounds and their working assumptions to follow their reasoning.

But that's ok. That's its appeal, and I guess that's why we're back to the "let's learn philosophy" phase.

My wife recently bought a series of philosophy texts on sale. They're books arepretty unique, because they are written with tons of big drawings of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, with thought bubbles containing their main ideas, and strategically placed summary prose.

Ok, the phrase "philosophy texts" may be an overstatment; they're really more like "philosofy komix"... 2 or 3 steps below, "Philosophy for Dummies".

But maybe this is what I need to finally master the Masters! Here's my experience of reading one of these books last night. It went like this (sort of)...

Part I The Philosophy Masters

About Plato
"Plato was born in a rich family. He was a student of Socrates. After Socrates died, Plato wrote down his teaching so that people would not forget Socrates. He wrote them down in a book called Dialogues. Plato started the first university. He called it the Academy. At the Academy, his students tried to answer difficult questions like, "Is there a perfect world?" Aristotle was one of his star students. Plato's most famous book is The Republic."

(Hey, I understood that...fascinating... I'm tracking; I'm doing philosophy!)

About Socrates

"Socrates is the Father of Western Philosophy. He did many others things before becoming a philosopher. He was a soldier, politician, and a stone mason. He didn't write anything down, because he liked to question other people about their opinions about truth. He didn't say what truth is. He only like to question what others believed about it. He also liked to talk about other things that are hard to talk about like virtue, piety, good and evil, and life.

(Feelin' good about this, because I'm still tracking! It's getting a little deep here talking about things like truth, virtue, etc. But, I'm ok! I'm ok...just breathe!)

And so it went! Before I knew it, a whole 20 minute had flown by. And more surprising, I was already more than half way through the book! Great, I'm jazzed! I'm getting it, finally!

This is all great history and biography of the Masters; I was ready for the meat! I think I have their system down pat!

Here we go...!

Part II

Philosophy Meat

"In Part II of this book, we will talk about some fun philosophy ideas. Lots of 'em came from the book called The Republic by Plato (360 BCE). Socrates (remember him from Part I?) and his student Polemarchus are talking here.

(Ok, now I know what to expect in Part II...bring it on!)

Socrates: "Dude, why don't you glide on over here and let's chat about life!"
(So far so good...this is the philosophical  "meat" and I can understand that...)

Polemarchus: "Your Mastership, kewl! Pray tell, whilst we imbibe and chat."

(Uh oh, fancy language. Let me check the dictionary...hmmm..."Pray tell"..."pray tell"...Here it is, "old fashioned way of saying, '"You're on!', also refers to "Do it, tell me!". And "whilst" is the old fashion way of say, "while". Check! I'm following...)

Socrates: "So Dude, order us a brewsky and let me bop this question over to you."

Polemarchus: "Kewl, muchly! Two brewskies over here! Now, pray tell, Your Mastership!"

Socrates: Listen up, Pole, and tell me then, O thou heir of the argument, what didst Simonides say, and according to you, truly say, about justice?

(Huh?)

Plomarchus: He said that the repayment of a debt is just, and in saying so he appears to me to be right.
(Hey, wait!)

Socrates: I should be sorry to doubt the word of such a wise and inspired man, but his meaning, though probably clear to you, is the reverse of clear to me. For he certainly does not mean, as we were now saying that I ought to return a return a deposit of arms or of anything else to one who asks for it when he is not in his right senses; and yet a deposit cannot be denied to be a debt..."

(I, uh...!!?? Huh?)

With a sigh, I closed the cover of my philosofy komix. The pictures were nice, but maybe next year!

Honey, what's on MTV?

It's all in the body

Well, I had another singing lesson. It was pretty fun and very interesting!

I mentioned in an earlier blog how “physical” my teacher is when she teaches.

In this class, she worked with one of our students, a 50+ year old software engineer, who really needed help with his voice projection. So she had him lie down on the floor in front of all of us, and then sing a song. As he lay there singing, she lifted his feet to her posterior and literally sat on his feet as he sang. Every time his voice projection got weak, she sat back hard against his feet, which pushed his thighs into his abdomen, which pushed against his diaphragm, which pushed more air out of his lungs, and his voice got stronger. Each time she did that, which was pretty often, she also sent him skidding a foot or two backward across the floor.

What was only a 45 second song turned into a 5 minute song, because he was laughing so hard he couldn't get the words out. During the course of his song, she chased him across the floor by more than a couple of yards.

It was only after class that we pointed out to him the dust and skid marks on the back of his pants. Next time, maybe he should dust-proof himself with Pledge, and bill the school for custodial services.

But there was more. This time, I was an accomplice.

With another student, a tall 40+ elementary school teacher, my teacher asked me to “hang her up by her skull” as she sang! This student tended to jut her head and neck forward as she sang, which constricted her voice. So the teacher had me stand behind this student, clamp her skull between my hands and then lift her as she sang. Not only did this help the student, but I got a really great upper body workout. (Maybe I can sell the concept to Ronco!)

It amazes me how much singing isn't really in the throat at all, but actually tied to the body's breath mechanics. And it's interesting how easily we lost touch with our bodies. In retrospect, I think she was trying to help us get back "into our bodies".

Teachers don't work with students this intensely unless they believe students have potential they aren't using. Althought I was relieved to have been spared this type of intense work in her class, I don't know if I'm happy about it. Did she not work with me because my singing's flawless or because it’s hopeless?

After class, my teacher announced that she was going to New York to audition for an musical play, and that we'll have a sub for the next couple of weeks.

Really, Teach, you don't need to skip town!

Ok, so "break a leg" in New York!

And that's the size of it!

Size matters! (No, I'm not referring to it in that sense!)

Let's try again...ahem...

Size matters! That's why I have to wonder if building contractors and land speculators know something I don't?

A number of new home developments cropped up in my area recently. I wondered at first, "Is it my imagination or are houses a lot larger nowadays?"

But then I figured it out. It's an optical illusion!

It isn't that the houses are bigger, but that the neighborhoods are smaller!

The streets are narrower. I knew it was hard to maneuver my car past another coming the other way on my street in an older neighborhood, but the streets in these developments, or what passes for them, are more like historic Boston "cow paths"--and that's said only with slight hyperbole. Two skateboarders would be lucky to pass each other if one were on the street and the other flying off a ramp over her.

And the space between the houses is like that of San Francisco! Almost all the homes in San francisco butt up against each other, side to side. In most cases, you have enough space literally to slip a deck of cards between them, but in the 'burbs"? No way!

And the "yards' in these new developments are no larger than the interior of a Port-0-let. (Watch where you fling that Frisbee. That is a Frisbee, isn't it??)

And so, that's the illusion. The houses are stacked one on top of the other throwing shadows across narrower streets, giving them the illusion of being bigger than they really are.

So I ask again, do building contractors know something that's not common knowledge?

Well, I think I found the answer.

There's a reason for smaller neighborhood spaces. Space is at a premium, because according to major reports the earth is shrinking! Yes, shrinking!

When I was a kid, I remember hearing that the advent of the "jet plane" made the world a lot smaller. But that was metaphorical shrinking. And more recently, airlines report that the average American girth is larger, which makes the seats smaller. But that's a relative shrinking.

What I'm referring to is a literal shrinking!

A recent Reuters headline cited that "Italy Sounds Alarm Over Shrinking Beaches". It explained that Italy faces a "national emergency". Its beaches are shrinking at an "alarming rate, posing a threat to nature and to the country's huge holiday trade". It continues, "Europe loses 5.8 square miles of beach a year...Italy, with 4,700 miles of coastline, is one of the hardest-hit countries... 1.5 square miles of local beaches vanished 'in recent years'".

This is a blight on Italy's tourism, but it's a boon to the building industry...build narrower, build up; build smaller and look bigger; push those prices up!

Need more evidence of a shrinking world?

Take a look at Mount Everest! Don't worry, you can use scaled-down binoculars.

The Canadian Broadcast Corportion recently cited, "China Fears Mount Everest Shrinking". They said that China is sending a team of scientists to re-measure Mount Everest because, according to Chinese state reports, the snow-covered mountain top is believed to have shrunk to a low of only 8,848 metres.

This a blight on tourism and on the potential for world record climbs.

But as reason would have it, if Mount Everest shrinks anymore, it'll have to push up somewhere else! The Gobbi Desert will become the Gobbi Mountain Range! And with its new elevations, the region will reap the economic boon of skiing and tourism!

"Saaaayyy! Have I got a deal for you! May I interest you in some shares in our beautiful new 'Gobbi Peaks Ski Chalet'?"

Joe (Aspiring building contractor and land speculator)

Appraisal time

What a week! I feel like Jack Karouac's book title, "On the Road", sounds. I've been "on the road" conducting training for line managers at various locations.

We're moving into the beloved performance appraisal cycle at work, and managers are suddenly feeling the crunch of getting employee performance appraisals done!

Many of those in my classes are "working managers". This means they also do the work they supervise others doing. Of course, guess where they spend most of their time and attention during the year! Right! And they forget to pay attention to the big picture.

When appraisal crunch time comes around, I can see the panic in their eyes as they scamble in a dither to get organized. Then I hear all the excuses why they don't do them or don't want to do them...

"I've go to get the work out! I don't have time for this!"
"I haven't spoken with her about her performance, since I can't remember when. So what am I going to write?"
"I haven't given her an appraisal in three years. I'm going to start now?"
"His performance was pretty raunchy last year, but his previous boss appraised him as Outstanding. So I'm supposed to be the bad guy? Sheesh!"
"I've go a weak heart and a bad back. What if she yells at me?"

Actually, I think that a number of them are faced with the existential crisis of having to leap into the "Content Void". They need to find something meaningful to say when they haven't paid attention and have little or nothing to say. Then they wrack their brains looking for useful content.

They report that when they finally have something to share, they now have to face the brunt of employee reactions--and some can get a little vocal and emotional--when they learn their bosses didn't think they were as hot as they thought they were.

But it's fun to work with managers during this time; they're putty in my hands. And that's where we get some real energy going. They drop their guard and offer you some real reactions and questions, especially "How do I handle..." type dilemmas!

As I said, it's great fun, I must admit, especially since I work in the mode of a management consultant/trainer.

I get 'em geared up, equipped and ready to go. After the class, they go back to their offices to do the hard work of applying the skills they learned in class.

And, me? Well, I go and get coffee.

I'm gearing up now for an "on the road" reprieve--drum roll please: "The Son of, 'On the Road'".

This afternoon, I'm teaching a management course on how to identify and to set performance expectations. This is the basis of next year's performance appraisals. This'll be a more relaxed class, because it's future oriented, rather than "appraisals", which is oriented to the previous year. They're being prepped for next year, rather than being held accountable for the previous year.

Although I'm addressing them as managers appraising others, I also hope they listen as employees, who will be appraised by others.

"So, shall we get on the road?"
"Yes, let's"
"To Oz?"
"To Oz!"

Joe

Thought bottlenecks

Officer Blogget, Blog Police: "Joe, you've been delinquent in posting to your blog. It's been over a week!"

Joe: Officer Blogget, It's not my fault. It’s not that I didn’t want to post, but I've been experiencing a "thought bottleneck", sump'm awful. It’s the opposite of "writer's block". I don’t know which is worse.

Officer Blodgett, Blog Police: "What in the world are you talking about? What do you mean? What's the difference?"

Joe: " Well Officer, a long time ago, I bought into the "muse" idea in my creative writing class, which set me up for writer's block. I used to sit in front of my computer, staring at the screen and waiting for the muse to open the door to my creative unconscious for all this great stuff to come out. But the only action I ever got was MS Windows automatically "saving" my blank Word page! Other than that, nothing! No ideas. It was time to quit when I started obsessing on, "I need a cigarette". I don't smoke!

My muse abandoned me! I was "a-mused"--literally--and not amused!

But this time, it was the exact opposite. I had too many ideas! I either can't remember them all, or I can't type them up fast enough to post on my blog.

Officer Blogget, Blog Police: (Taps his night stick on the computer and looks at his watch impatiently.) I haven't got all night and I'm still not hearing a good reason.

Joe: Just a few moments more, Officer. There's not that much more to tell.

Officer Blogget, Blog Police: Where were you the afternoon of Saturday?

Joe: Ummmm...I happened to pass the psychic development institute in our area (a big field of interest in my neck of the woods) and noticed they had a free psychic faire. So I stopped in on a lark and got Ellen, who practiced giving me a reading. She explained,

"Joe, thoughts are energy. You are energy! If you don't write your ideas and insights shortly after you have them, you risk the energy of your thoughts bottlenecking and falling back into your leg, slipping along the leg meridian. It'll coagulate there."

Then she squinted at me as though peering into me and passed her hands within inches of my head.

"I'm feeling your energy aura around your head and upper torso. As I suspected. Your thought energy is bottlenecked at your 3rd cervical vertebrae and it's starting to migrate downward."

Officer Blogget, Blog Police: Gimme a break Joe, I don't have all night. Are you telling me you really believe this?

Joe: I really didn't know what to believe. I felt trapped in my own private X-File:

"But Mulder, what's the evidence? Just saying this is so doesn't make it true! Believing this without evidence is just plain delusional."

"Scully, quit clinging to the rationality of your scientific paradigms. Be in wonder! Just open your mind and entertain the 'possibility of all possibilities'!"

"Mulder, I'm trying to, but..."

Officer Blogget, Blog Police: Look Joe, I said I don't have all night. You just started this blog and you're not getting off on the right. (Pointing his night stick into Joe's face). Mister, don't give this me quiche kinda explanation, give me eat and pitatis!

Joe: Well, after I wished Ellen a great rest of her life, I researched "thought bottlenecking" on the web. There was a ton of hard research on it! It's a great blogger malady!

Yeah...did you know that at every moment, the brain processes millions, maybe billions, of bits of information. Nature keeps keeps unaware of most of it, otherwise we’d be bonkers with constant data overload. But the thoughts we are aware of, go into our short-term memory banks, a memory cache in the brain’s buffer.

Thoughts are like dreams. If we don't talk about them or write them down, they accumulate in short-term memory until they expire or exceed my short-term memory capacity. Then, they just vanish!

That was my "thought bottleneck" problem!

I get all these ideas I want to write about. I'll write about this, no I'll write about that. While I'm deciding, they're all going into my short-term memory, when I can't do anything about them, like when I'm driving to work or working out at the gym. Then, they disappear.

Officer Blogget, Blog Police: "Fine, fine, fine. So, what did you do about it? Tell me here or tell me at the station!"

Joe: Officer, I tried taking a pad and pencil with me, but it didn't work. I pert near killed myself taking notes while commuting to work at 80 mph. I've seen women whiz passed me on the highway, putting on make-up in the rear-view mirror. But, I don't multi-task that well.

And I tried taking notes when I'm running the treadmill at the gym, but my pencil lead tears the sweat blotches on my paper.

So, unless I write them down, my thoughts and ideas exceed my short term memory's capacity or they fall into my leg and vanish.

That's why I didn't post all week!

Officer Blogget, Blog Police: So you do believe the stuff about memories falling into your leg!...gullible bloggers (mumble, mumble).

Joe: I don't think I've really lost all my ideas. Larry, my personal fitness trainer, amateur psychoanalyst, and all-'round guru assured me, "Don't worry, Joe. 'When the student is ready, the teacher will come.' There is a wisdom in the body and in the unconscious mind; they never forget anything. When you need them, your inner wisdom will bring your ideas back up for you."
Officer Blogget, Blog Police: (Looking impassively at Joe) "Hmmm...me thinks thou protesteth too much!"

Joe: "OK, Officer, you got me...I was lazy."

Joe

Angels in our midst

This past weekend was a weekend of "tears" for me. Yes, even for me! (At least I know I'm alive!)

It was the long Martin Luther King weekend. We were going to go away for several days, but we ended up just relaxing at home. No, I didn't cry about that!

Instead, we saw the movie, "Hotel Rwanda". A true story and what a powerful flick!

The setting of this story is the bloody and brutal confrontation between the Tutsi tribe and the Hutu tribe Rwanada, that occured during the Clinton administration; almost 1,000,000 people were slaughtered. (No, that word's not too strong!)

Ironically, this story helped me to recognize something of hope...

Now, I don't know if you want to call them "angels", "saints, or just "people of good will", but there are people, who have lived, and, I dare say, who yet live among us, who are, well..."angelic and saintly people of good will". They're ordinary people, who find themselves in extraordinary circumstances, and who, somehow find it within themselves to "step out", often at great personal risk, to make a difference in the lives of others.

We might know them as Martin Luther King or Mother Theresa of Calcutta. They might just as easily be a friend or a neighbor, about whom we know nothing.

In this case, it’s Paul, a simple hotel manager, and a Hutu, who is married to a Tutsi. The story was about the compassion and courage he showed toward the Tutsis who were victimized during the brutal Hutu uprising. I won't give away the story, but I would recommend it to anyone.

Maybe what hit me in the story was the irony of finding, no, of “encountering”, a spark of goodness in the midst of brutality.

All I can say is that when you encounter true goodness and compassion in a person, I don't know how anyone couldn't be moved to tears. I certainly was! (I was going to complain to theater management that their too salty popcorn caused me to retain water, which seeped from my eyes, but then I figured it out!)

Anyway, you can learn more about the film here: http://www.hotelrwanda.com/intro.html.

Oh yes, someone sent me this link, which also moved me to tears. Whether you believe in God, a "higher power", or nothing in particular, maybe you'll find something here for you! Just follow the link, turn up the sound, then click "View Presentation".

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/windowmovie.html

Joe

McFerin School

Here's an interesting news article lead in today's WASHINGTON TODAY --

"President Bush's second inauguration will cost tens of millions of dollars -- $40 million alone in private donations for the balls, parade, Bobby McFerin’s performance, and other invitation-only parties. With that kind of money, what could you buy?

• Two hundred armored Humvees with the best armor for troops in Iraq.
• Vaccinations and preventive health care for 22 million children in regions devastated by the tsunami.
• A down payment on the nation's deficit, which hit a record-breaking $412 billion last year."

Excuse me on our nation's priorities??!!

According to an Inauguration Planning Group Representative, "Well Sir, we're assured that our inaugural strategy meets the nation's needs at this time. We've been so advised by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and the “Bobby McFerin” School of Presidential Inaugurations. Please learn more about our inaugural strategy at the NIH website."

Joe

Do you "herd" what I "herd"?

I was standing on the corner of California Street this evening. California Street is a wide and very busy urban street and people drive fast. The light was red and I waiting for it to turn green to cross. A young woman was standing on the same corner too. We made eye contact and smiled at each other. She looked away quickly, and turned to survey the traffic in both directions. She was looking intently, first left then right, then left, then right, etc.

While she did that, I stood there watching her watch the traffic; I finally glanced away and casually scanned it myself. I felt no sense of urgency. Maybe she was in a hurry or maybe she felt uncomfortable with me being there (after all, it was dusk in the big City). I don't know.

But before the light turned green, she spotted a lag in the traffic flow and bolted across the street against the light.

I watched her go. A few seconds later, and without thought, I also bolted into the street against the light into on-coming traffic! But the traffic situation had already changed! It had increased and I did an eye lock onto headlights careening my way into the intersection! The rest is a blur! All I can say is that I made it to the other side--Thank you, Lord! (If He hadn't been with me, I would have literally "made it to the other side"!)

But talk about the herd instinct!

I admit that I didn’t bolt just from pure instinct! Just before I jumped off the curve, I remember vaguely thinking, "If she's going to do it, I won't be a wimp about this either." Then, whoosh, I was off!

This is an example of my "amygdala" (the primitive and instinctive part of the human brain) reacting to her sudden movement (originally for survival), coupled with the male cultural conditioning of my "neo-cortext" (my so-called modern, 'advanced' brain).

In this case, my "advanced" brain justified the folly of my primitive brain's reactivity, resulting in my dumb action.

Wildebeests have been known to follow herd leaders over a cliff in a stampede. It seems this "modern man" had a "wildebeest" moment!

(Rats! The lens just fell out of my good reading glasses!)

Joe

Biceps in Time

It's 7:34pm. What am I doin' here??

I'm back in the office again, after having worked out at the gym. Several colleagues are also still in the building working.  You know, some people just don't like to go home!

But I'm not one of them! I like going home; I really do! But I'm one of that cadre in the American workforce called the "distance commuter" ... woohoo! We live our lives on the road! ... getting ready to get on the road! being on the road, ... getting off the road! ... and recovering from having been on the road!

Our internal clocks are finely honed, and our internal compasses point forever to, well, "any place but here"!

Oh, no, we don't grow grass under our feet! We're forever gassing up our cars, stepping in gas puddles, looking for parking, and then running short cuts across lawns, late for early morning appointments.

We're also skilled and perennial negotiators and coordinators. We constantly negotiate time, and car coordination.

So why am I still at work? Let's just say that I had a lapse in my negotiation strategy. 

I'm waiting for my wife to pick me up for our commute home. She has to work a “work event” this evening. This means that she has the car, which means that I have lots of idle time and solitude on my hands.

But, I'm feeling good. My body's awake from my work out, and I am "buff" (For our foreign visitors, that's American slang for my muscles being all "pumped up", and "inflated" in size!! According my dictionary, "to be in the state of buffness". You get the picture.) 

Unfortunately, there isn't anyone around here to impress with my buffocity. Hmmm, I'll take a walk down to Starbucks for a coffee. If I suck in my gut (For our foreign visitors, that's American slang for, oh never mind...) and flex my arms, maybe someone'll notice my buff biceps before they deflate.

Where idle time abounds, there ego abounds all the more!

Joe

Spam, my song bucket, and Orion's belt

Well, it's been a few days since I posted to my blog. I thought to post this weekend, but after spending so much time in front of my computer at work, it was hard for me to rouse myself to my home computer.

Besides, I reeeaallyy didn't feel ready to come back to work after the Christmas/New Year holidays, and I was tired this weekend and the last few days. I usually fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. But lately, I've been dozing more, rather than really sleeping, remembering and thinking about different, often disjointed, things. Psychologists might diagnose me with "loose thought associations" (a not too favorable clinical symptom--but that may not be as big a stretch as all that!) I imagine it must be around 2 or 3 in the morning when I actually nod off into real sleep.

Anyway, I wanted to do nothing more than to just lie low this weekend, which is what I did.

And speaking of being unwilling to use my home computer...slowly but surely, I've stopped checking my email at home. I recently went several weeks without checking it. Then when I went to download my email, it wouldn't download! I called my provider, who checked my account from the back end and he confirmed for me I had almost 10,000 pieces of spam... CIAL, Viagra, sexy camgirlsonline, great mortgage rates, loan pre-approvals, and oh yes, "Congratulations! You've earned your PhD!"

Well no wonder it wouldn't download! Spam's like cholesterol in the arteries. It'll take any person down..it certainly took my system down! So, I've resigned myself to this fact, for the moment anyway, and I basically suspended my home use.

Last night I had my first singing lesson right after work! It was really fun! There are only 6 of us in the class and the teacher seems pretty good. At first glance, I thought she might be a country singer, so was I surprised when she said that she's an operatic mezzo-soprano! Based on my stereotypic imagination, she's nothing like what I would imagine an operatic mezzo-soprano type to look. She's a slender blond woman with short unruly hair, which she grabbed often as she spoke (I guess that caffine's good when you're trying to teach tired students, at the end of a long day). She had a gap between her front teeth, similar to the one a famous blond fashion model from the 1980s had, and whose name escapes me. She wore old jeans and a shirt that was one size too small for her, and boots. And she’s funny! She has a real comedic quality to her!

And she's very physical in the way she teaches singing. She uses her hands and arms in big motions, and she had us doing physical things too! She had us lying on the ground to “feel” how our backs and postures aligned with the floor. She also had us moving our hands and arms in big swooping motions to give us a visual of how air is supposed to move through our bodies as we breath. For a breathing exercise, she had us turn to a partner to coach each other in breathing. We did it by holding we each other's rib cages and coached each other to expand our rib cages as we breathed. ("Uh, wanna go for coffee later?") John, who was about 6 feet 3 inches, had to bend way over to hold the ribs of Lisa, who was about 4 feet 7 inches. Together, they reminded of a high C and a low C on the musical scale. (I know they went out for coffee after class.)

And of course, we started vocalizing.

We were all over the map in terms of our abilities to inhale, to exhale with control, using the diaphram, and to sustain our breaths. You had to put all these elements into a mental “ song bucket” in order to carry a tune, without leakage. My "song bucket" was tight enough, but it certainly has some holes in it.

I started thinking about kareoke. What a great place to practice your singing techniques in public. People graciously applaud and even whoop, just for you getting up there - no matter what you sound like!

In this one class, I really felt for the first time what it meant to sing from the diaphram, and not from the throat. And I already heard some improvement in some of my classmates. The one thing I could never master was vibrato. But I have a feeling that I'll be able to develop it a bit more with her.

She gave us a short song to memorize. We have to sing it solo at our next session for feedback...an interesting choice of lyrics:

When I can read my title clear to mansions in the skies,
I'll bid farewell to every fear and dry my weeping eyes.

I feel like, I feel like I'm on my journey home,
I feel like, I feel like I'm on my journey home.

Should earth against my soul engage and hellish darts be hurtled,
then I can smile at satan's rage and face a frowning world.
I feel like, I feel like I'm on my journey home,
I feel like, I feel like I'm on my journey home.

That's it! Those are the lyrics!

Oh, and speaking of dozing (my thought just jumped back to my opening paragraph--loose thought associations, remember?) ... During my dozing and late sleeping episode last night, I "woke up" at 12:49am to go to the bathroom. I happened to glance at the hyper-clear night sky out of my bathroom window and I saw the "belt" of the constellation Orion framed squarely in the window! And there was "betelgeuse", the bright star that forms one of Orion's shoulders. (Bellatrix forms his other shoulder)! What a picture! At any rate, after admiring Orion's belt for a moment, I "fumbled" with mine (ahem), and shortly afterward went back to bed and fell asleep.

Human Formation

I recently spoke with my friend about her experience as an elementary school teacher.

And then I ran across this quote from St. John Neumann (1811-1860). I believe he's the patron saint of the Catholic education system in the U.S.

"Since every man (read “person”) of whatever race is endowed with the dignity of a person, he has an inalienable right to an education that corresponds to his proper destiny and suited to his native talents, cultural background, and ancestral heritage. 

At the same time, this education should pave the way to fraternal association with other peoples, so that genuine unity and peace on earth may be promoted. For a true education aims at forming the human person with respect to the good of those societies of which he is a member and in whose responsibilities, as an adult, he will share."

What an interesting phrase “...that corresponds to his proper destiny...”  It sounds like we, as humans, have a common destiny to which we need to be oriented for our fulfillment, simply because we’re human. Perhaps we share more in common that divides us?

The saint's philosophy's not bad for an early 19th century thinker!

But I wonder if a child educated in this way would succeed in our much more enlightened 21st. century American No Child Left Behind "just-pass-the-bloody-test" educational system?

Joe

This is a test

I just sent this entry to my blog via email.

 

Did it work??

 

Joe

 

I am resolved...conundrum

New Year’s Day is a time for a new beginning (actually, any day is a time for a new beginning). But I’m not so sure now.

While so many people broke their new year’s resolutions, I used to be pleased to announce every year that I consistently KEPT my new year's resolution. My resolution was simply this: "I resolve not to make any new year resolutions", so there was nothing to break and I was happy!

But someone pointed out to me that I have actually been consistently BREAKING my resolution!

What??

I break it when I resolve not to resolve to resolve to make a new year's resolution.

Huh??

I broke my resolution not to make a resolution, by making a resolution not to make a resolution!! By not keeping my resolution, I broke it!!

Hmmm...so I've decided to change this year’s resolution to this: "If there is anything I need to change, I resolve to do it when I'm ready."

“Therefore, be it resolved forthwith wherefore untoward that: ‘If there is anything I need to change, I resolve to do it when I'm ready.’”

Ok, let me try my resolution out...

Self: “Joe, stop being lazy and clean out the garage.”

Joe: “Nah, I’m not ready!”

I did it! I kept my resolution and felt good about it! (And I even understand it! Do you?)



Joe

Tsunami Dots

Sometimes when we're far away from something, we don't really see things for what they are.

5am -- My alarm goes off. I'm dozing in bed, and I hear a commentary on National Public Radio about the tsunami in SE Asia/India.

The commentator says that when her young daughter looked at a picture of the aftermath of the tsunami she described what she saw as "thousands of colored dots in the water".

11am -- Well, here's what those dots were. (Scroll down)

Maybe you can send a few bucks (http://www.interaction.org/sasia) and prayers to help them out?

Joe

Walls 

In the neighborhood 

In the middle of it 

Over the rail 

Here it comes 

Tsunami wash 

Dank and calm

Ah, finally a sun crack in the dank clouds and sky!

We've been having tsunami rain this past week -- and now some calm. This is the grand cycle of weather. First the dank, then the calm, then the dank, then the calm...

It's kinda like life.

Life's "dankness" means all ways in which we might experience "suffering".

I was sitting at work and in the "dank" (all these deadlines and here I am writing this!), but then someone stopped by to talk "work". Our conversation then drifted to what we did over the holidays. And I told her about my trip way down south to Texas, where I visited my cousins and wonderful Goddaughter!

And there it was...a sun crack in the "dank"!! Cool! (Actually, it was summer shirt weather when I was in Texas.)

Hmmm...dank then calm. So, life's pattern follows the weather's pattern?

Some people get stuck in life's "dankness" and can't find the calm. Others are so stuck in clinging to calm, they can't stand the "dankness" when it comes.

"Dank" and calm people are both are pretty uptight. I've been in both places myself. But for the moment, I'm in a better place.

I think that where we "find" "calm" or "calmness, helps us know how to deal with "dank". So, what do you consider the source of "calmness"?

Well, one type of "calm" is that kind that you "do". For example, one of the things I do is teach people to meditate, to imagine relaxing scenes, to warm their hands, and to call up the "relaxation response". Do any of those things and that'll help calm you alright. And that's great for the moment anyway, if you can make it part of your lifestyle. Otherwise, you're back in the stratosphere again.

But for me, that's not real calm. I'm interested in the kind of "calm" that changes your life!

Maybe real "calm" isn't what we think it is. It isn't something you "do" or control. It's something you give yourself to. Well, I think it's more like a surrender, though not the "I give up on you" kind ... although it's smart to know when to stop doing something that doesn't work.

Nope. Real calm is more of a surrender to something, and I would say to Someone, bigger than us when we're in the middle of dankness. Then from that space, acting in a definite way to make a change. Don't worry, I won't get too mystical about this.

For example, I used to be a hill-runner. There are rolling hills in my area--cattle and wine country, home of the famous "cattleberry bush" (just kidding!).

After work, I'd go running up the hill. When I didn't feel like it, it was agony! (The deer and ground squirrels were none too happy either.) I often finished my distance quota by sheer force of will...oy! It was a pretty dank experience, and I didn't really enjoy those times. I would tighten up and just plain hurt!

Then I decided to stop forcing it and just surrender to the reality of the hill and my body, and to the One who sustains all of this. "Yeah Joe, so just calm down! Forget your distance quota and go with it as much or as little as you can!" So, I started running just because the hill was there, it was what it was; I was there with my running shoes on and felt what I felt. Then I put one foot in front of the other.

It was a different experience altogether!

I felt carried along! I felt my muscles and heard my breath; I felt the soil give or crumple under my foot at each step; I heard the high dry grass crackle as I brushed them by; I heard the sound of wind at the sky of the hill.

I went from "hardly breathing" when I was forcing it, to "hardly breathing hard" when I just surrendered!

Hmmmm...the idea of "doing" and "surrendering" as a way of dealing with dank, reminds me of something I read about the difference between "willfulness" and "willingness" in your life. It's a great distinction, I think.

Willfulness is about doing, often forcing; willingness is about seeing and accepting what's real as it is.
Willfulness is often desperate; willingness is usually about faith and surrender.
Willfulness is about energy; willingness is about being present.
Willfulness is a rock, willing is water that wears away the rock.

We need both.

The way to change anything, especially ourselves is to see and to accept the reality of the situation and who we are and to surrender to Someone bigger than us (willingness). Then from that place, acting to make a difference (willfulness).

Then keep that cycle going.

So, maybe there's no real split between dank and calm. Real calm is surrender and faith in the middle of the "dank"; "dank" is an exciting calm that invites us into action.

What do you think? Post a comment!

Joe

A Firster

Well, I took the plunge! This is my first blog. I'm about to turn myself inside out. My "privacy quotient" is usually pretty high, but I'm lowering it here.

I have to wonder about this sudden upsurge in blogging in our society... living your private life in public? And why am I doing this?

I guess some more cynical folks would say that blogging is "institutionalized narcissm" and "sanctioned voyerism", but I'm not a cynic ... nope, not me.

There's so much noise out here in the world. Blogging will, I think, help me think out loud with my fingers; to see in my hand what's in my heart! I'll “read’ my brain, instead of listening to it.

My entries are thoughts-observations frozen in time and place. They're cyber-history of interest to almost no one but me and anyone who cares to read it and to comment; it's a conversation with myself---and I hope with you!

Anyway, this is my first installment.

Joe